


more than quid pro quo

by bellafarallones



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Succubi & Incubi, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Blood Drinking, Kravitz is Angus McDonald's Parent, M/M, taako is an incubus, the raven queen runs a vampire coven
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:34:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27035011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellafarallones/pseuds/bellafarallones
Summary: “Let me know if it’s too much, or -” and then Kravitz bit, and he could no longer speak. Taako’s blood and skin was warm against his tongue, and he thought he could taste the alcohol, taste the magic in his veins.
Relationships: Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 108





	more than quid pro quo

Kravitz did not routinely go to bars. He didn’t drink alcohol, and crowds of people he didn’t know made him nervous. Especially when he was this hungry, and the smells of mingled flesh washed over him like ocean brine.

He was here tonight as a spotter for the daughter of a friend, who was meeting a Tinder date. But she had left with her date, giving him a furtive thumbs-up, and he needed to leave too. It was getting harder to think about anything but the warm bodies around him. And then -

An incubus had just walked in. A slender, gorgeous incubus with purple eyeshadow and a loose blond braid. He scanned the crowd, the dancing couples and groups of young men and women, and his eyes met Kravitz’s. One magical creature could alway recognize another, through some inarticulable sixth sense that humans didn’t possess.

Kravitz wondered vaguely if incubus magic worked on vampires. He had thought it didn’t.

“This seat taken?” said the incubus, suddenly very close, indicating the barstool next to Kravitz’s.

Kravitz shook his head, and the incubus sat down. The many human smells of the crowd faded out.

“You, ah, new in town?” said Kravitz. The ice in the drink in front of him was mostly melted, and condensation dripped down onto the bar. He was a little nervous, if the incubus was using magic. He had a vested interest in preventing anyone from getting a bad impression of supernatural creatures. 

The incubus nodded. “Just passing through. How about you, handsome?”

“I’m a local,” said Kravitz. “My name is Kravitz.”

“Taako,” said the incubus, and reached for Kravitz’s drink, which he downed in one go, crunching on the dregs of ice. Then he lowered his voice and leaned in. “Look. I know what you are, and I think you know what I am.” 

If this incubus thought Kravitz would help him prey on some defenseless human, he had another thing coming. “Can I buy you a drink?” he said, keeping his face carefully neutral.

Taako laughed. “It might make my blood taste weird, but sure.”

Oh.  _ Oh.  _

While Kravitz was processing that offer, Taako waved the bartender over and ordered something expensive and fruity.

“Just so I’m clear,” said Kravitz when the bartender had left again. “You’re suggesting letting me drink from you and then we have sex afterwards? Quid pro quo?”

“Who said anything about sex? I think the enjoyment you get from some delicious Taako juice will be enough to make it worth my while.” Taako’s drink arrived - bright orange, with an umbrella - and he took a sip. “So, this town. Good place for people like us?”

Kravitz glowered. “They know me. But if you try something…”

“Woah, woah, I’m not interested in anything unethical. And if you want me out of your territory, say the word and I’ll be on my way. But I can tell you’re thirsty, and I haven’t had a good meal in a while, either, and… as you say, quid pro quo.”

“Alright. I’m in. Do you want to… get out of here?”

Taako laughed. “Eager,” he said, and put his hand on Kravitz’s thigh. “Let me finish my drink, ‘kay? And then I’m all yours.”

Kravitz put his hand on top of Taako’s, and Taako scratched his nails gently against Kravitz’s palm, making him shudder a little. 

He pulled himself together enough to pay the tab, his drink and Taako’s, even with Taako’s arm around his waist under his jacket, and then they were out in the night, and slid together into Kravitz’s car.

“Nice ride,” Taako said, slouched back in the leather seat. 

Kravitz’s house was dark and silent at this hour of night, and Taako was pliant, clinging to Kravitz as he pulled him inside, led him down the hall across shining hardwood and plush carpet. “Where do you want-”

“Bed?” said Taako, and Kravitz pressed him down onto it, and Taako’s hand was in his hair, guiding his lips down to Taako’s neck. 

“Can I?”

“Yes.”

“Let me know if it’s too much, or -” and then Kravitz bit, and he could no longer speak. Taako’s blood and skin was warm against his tongue, and he thought he could taste the alcohol, taste the  _ magic.  _

He had a few human friends who knew him well enough to tell when he was hungry and offer up their arms, and he appreciated it and would bring them a casserole the next day. But he had to control himself around them, they didn’t understand  _ hunger  _ the way another supernatural creature would.

They didn’t  _ feel  _ his relief and euphoria. 

After a few minutes he was satiated and collapsed down on top of Taako. “You good, my guy?” Taako said.

“Yeah. You?”

“I’m really proud of myself for suggesting that.”

“I’m glad you did.” Kravitz, lips still wet, felt himself pressing his hips down against Taako’s, and Taako’s hand was on his waist, holding him close. He was embarrassingly aroused, and he knew Taako could feel it. 

“You wanna say something, big guy?”

“Thank you?” Kravitz’s brain was still fuzzy.

Taako laughed. “Not exactly what I was going for, but still appreciated. You want to touch me some more? Want me to touch you?”

“Yes. Please. Fuck me.”

Taako pressed his lips to Kravitz’s neck, where his pulse would have been. “Let me on top of you?”

Kravitz moved only enough to get his back on the mattress and Taako straddling his hips. “Tell me what you want with me,” said Kravitz.

“You want me to fuck you?”

“Yes. If you want.”

“Oh, I do. You’re a little bit wrecked already, aren’t you?”

“Yes, please, because of you-”

“Can I take your shirt off?”

“Yes.”

Kravitz’s suit jacket was already off, and Taako’s hands shook on the buttons of his shirt. “So many clothes,” he murmured. “Fancy boy. I’m gonna be so gentle with you, open you up for me.” Then he ran his hands across Kravitz’s chest and Kravitz was shuddering, his legs spread and hips bucking up.

Taako moved down on the bed to sit between Kravitz’s legs, and Kravitz reached down to undo his pants, shoving them down his legs and kicking them off. 

“Can I use my mouth?” said Taako.

Kravitz nodded, and he closed his eyes; seeing Taako sitting like that between his thighs with his pupils blown and his hair a mess and blood dripping down his collarbone was too much. 

Then Taako took his cock into his mouth and he cried out, Taako holding his hips down to the mattress. After a few minutes of wet noises and Kravitz’s whimpering, Taako pulled off and Kravitz could feel a finger pressing at his hole, slick, somehow - incubus magic, presumably. Kravitz could turn into a bat, Taako never needed to buy lube. 

“Okay?” said Taako, and Kravitz nodded. Taako pressed a kiss to the inside of Kravitz’s thigh. 

Kravitz hoped, desperately, that Taako could feel some of the sensation he was causing, because he was in  _ heaven.  _

\--

Taako woke up the next morning to his limbs being gently rearranged. It took him a moment to remember where he was: ah, yes, sexy vampire. The sexy vampire now getting dressed in the dark. “Are you trying to ditch me at your own house?” said Taako.

Kravitz turned around, shirt half-buttoned. “Shit! I didn’t mean to wake you. No, I have a thing I have to go to.”

Taako turned to look at the clock on the bedside table. “At 5:27 AM on a Saturday?”

“Yes. Look, you can stay or go, whatever you want. I’ll be back by ten.” 

“Have fun.” Taako pulled the blankets closer around himself and went back to sleep.

Four hours later sunlight was streaming through the windows and Taako resigned himself to getting up for real. In daylight he could see that this was a very nice bedroom. Vampires tended to be rich, and it looked like Kravitz was no exception. The bed had a  _ canopy  _ on it. 

Taako found the button-down Kravitz had been wearing the night before draped over the back of a chair and pulled it on. Then he wandered out into the hallway. He passed a bathroom, a room that appeared to contain nothing but musical instruments and sheet music, and a sitting room wherein a grand piano lorded over the comfortable sofas and chairs. 

At the end of the hallway there was a kitchen with all the normal appliances. Unexpected for a vampire, but maybe it had come with the house.

The food in the cabinets, however, had definitely not come with the house. It wasn’t even good food, either, microwave popcorn and Chef Boyardee ravioli and cans of beans.

“What the hell?” said Taako out loud.

“Hello, sir!” came a voice from the doorway.

Taako whirled around. “Uh. Who are you?”

“My name is Angus McDonald, and I live here!” It was a human child, dressed up in slacks and shiny shoes and a sweater-vest and a jaunty felt hat with a ribbon. Taako would have thought he was a vampire, because no  _ actual  _ child would dress like that, but no. “Are you a vampire too?” Angus continued.

“Uh. No.  _ That’s  _ your first question? Not ‘what are you doing here, strange man in my house?’”

“You’re wearing Kravitz’s shirt. I can guess what you’re doing here. Especially because I’m the world’s greatest detective!”

“Ah. Do you… know where he is?” Taako did not feel prepared to continue this conversation without backup. 

“On Saturday mornings Kravitz goes birding!”

“He  _ what?” _

Kravitz chose that moment to come through the front door. He was holding a black cane with a silver skull as the handgrip and had a pair of binoculars hanging around his neck. “I’m home!” he called, but his voice died in his throat when he saw Taako and Angus standing there. “Ah. I neglected to mention, Taako, I do sort of have a kid.”

“And you go  _ birding?  _ You, a terrifying monster of the night? Doesn’t sunlight burn you?”

“Haven’t you seen  _ Twilight?  _ Sunlight just makes me sparkle.” Kravitz took off the binoculars and set them on the kitchen table. “Angus, are you doing alright?”

“Peachy, sir! I was just about to have breakfast.” Angus opened one of the cabinets and stood on tiptoe to reach a box of pop tarts. “Would you like some, sir?” he said to Taako. “Since you’re not a vampire.”

“Uh.” Taako made a quick check of the cabinets and fridge to assure himself that he had no better options. “Sure.”

“Taako, can we talk?” said Kravitz, and dragged Taako into the music room.

“What’s up?”

“Am I ever going to see you again?”

“What?” This was not the kind of question Taako was prepared for. The prospect that he might, to this very hot vampire, be valuable enough to keep around long-term was both unexpected and heartening. 

“You said last night you were just passing through, and I want to know how to behave.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No.” Kravitz’s face was unreadable.

“Would you do something like last night again?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I’m just living my life as it comes, you know? I don’t have anywhere better to be. I may as well get a job and a place in town; you can call me when you get thirsty. Quid pro quo.” Some vampires would be your sugar daddy, but Kravitz didn’t seem like the type. Whatever. Taako could get a job.

“Of course. Makes sense.” Kravitz took a deep breath. “I can probably help you get settled, if you want. I know someone who’s renting a studio - what kind of job would you be looking for?”

“I’m a chef. And please let me prove myself by cooking for Angus. I know you can’t eat normal person food, but the contents of your cupboards depress me.”

“How about this: if I can find you a job today with my extensive network of people I’ve met living in this town for a hundred years, you make dinner for Angus.”

“Deal.”

\--

It was a few minutes before six, and Kravitz was standing in the parking lot of the local park with the other members of the birding club. He’d been a member long enough that nobody looked twice at him, even though he appeared to be the youngest person here by at least twenty years (as he had since the founding of the Audubon Society in 1905) and was dressed in a black suit and tie with a very dramatic cane, while everyone else wore capris and flannel.

“You look happy this morning, Kravitz,” said his friend Sharon, who wore a green fleece vest and had amusement in her voice.

“It’s a beautiful day.” It was probably just that Kravitz hadn’t gotten laid since before microwaves were invented. And that incubi were good at sex. That was why he wanted to hug Taako forever and pet his hair and buy him whatever he wanted with his centuries of investment income. 

They fell silent when an unfamiliar car pulled up, a sleek black BMW with out-of-state plates. The man who stepped out was even more of a surprise: he, like Kravitz, was dressed in formalwear completely inappropriate for birding. Kravitz could tell in an instant that this was an incubus.

“Hallo, hallo!” said the newcomer. His accent? German. His smile? Exuberant. “My name is Bryan! I saw the flyer in the library for your birding club and thought I’d stop by.”

“Kravitz,” said Kravitz. “Nice to meet you.”

Bryan shook his hand enthusiastically, and then the hands of everyone else present. “I’m just passing through, you see. I’m on my honeymoon!” Then he made a  _ squee  _ noise _.  _ The middle-aged couples that comprised the rest of the club looked somewhere between amused and scandalized. “And my fiance - my husband, now! Wow! I’ll never get used to saying it! - is still asleep, but I just couldn’t sit still! And now I’m here.”

“Congratulations,” said Kravitz. “On your honeymoon.”

Bryan beamed. “I can’t wait to see some birds! I’m a member of a birding club in Berlin, you see, but I’m sure you have different species here.”

At six o’clock on the dot the group started into the woods. Most people had binoculars, and they stopped to look whenever someone heard a particularly auspicious birdcall or saw a flash of red in the trees. Kravitz’s binoculars hung unused around his neck.

What were the odds that two incubi would wander through town so close together? Certainly not high. And Bryan was looking at him, too. By unspoken agreement they hung back a little behind the group.

“I don’t think of your kind as morning types,” said Bryan, softly enough that the humans wouldn’t hear.

Kravitz shrugged. “Everyone needs a hobby.”

\--

Somehow, Taako settled in. He found a job as a cook in a restaurant whose owner remembered  _ Sizzle it Up with Taako _ . He rented a studio apartment and furnished it, making Kravitz drive him to Goodwill and the mall to buy a sofa and a kitchen table, a stand-mixer and a full set of pots and pans. He ordered curtains from a catalog and put them up in the windows. 

He hadn’t done this kind of thing before. Taako was a wanderer. But remaining here was the only logical thing to do. Like a herd of antelopes lingering around a watering hole, he stayed close to Kravitz.

He worked most evenings and weekends, but tonight was a Monday, he didn’t have a shift, and Kravitz hadn’t called. So he was making muffins. Flour and sugar and a little wheat-bran for texture, it came together easily. 

Taako washed the bowls and spoons he’d used and wiped spilled flour off the countertop. Every time he turned around he caught a flicker of movement outside the window on the fire escape, but there was nothing there.

The timer beeped, and Taako took the tray of muffins out of the oven and transferred them to a cooling rack without looking around. Then he strode to the window, opened it, and leaned out.

There was a little boy pressed to the wall on the fire escape. He looked slowly around and met Taako’s eye.

“Hello, Angus,” said Taako.

“Hello, sir,” said Angus quietly. “You’re more observant than most people.”

“The peeping Tom thing isn’t gonna work so well once you hit puberty,” Taako warned. 

“I know, sir.”

“You may as well come in.”

“Yes, sir.” Angus climbed through the window, straightened his sweater vest, and stood ramrod-straight with his hands clasped behind his back. “I’m sorry for spying on you.”

Taako studied him for a moment. “Did Kravitz put you up to this?”

“No. He expressly forbade me from doing any detective work about you, so please don’t tell on me.”

“Look. I’m a celebrity. I love talking about myself. Just ask me whatever you want to know and I’ll save you a lot of time.”

“You’re not a human, are you?”

“No.” Taako turned away and moved the empty muffin tray into the sink. 

“But you’re not a vampire.”

Taako took a bite of a muffin. “Well spotted.”

Angus looked at the floor.

“Have a muffin. What did Kravitz tell you I was?”

“He said it wasn’t his place to say.”

Something prickled in Taako’s chest, but he pressed it down. He couldn’t blame Kravitz for being ashamed of associating with someone like  _ him _ . Kravitz was basically a respectable member of society with an unfortunate medical condition.

“I’m a demon,” said Taako. “Kravitz and I… have enough in common to understand each other. We have an arrangement. He can feed off me, and I can feed off him.”

“Do you have a thrall like he does?”

“Yes,” said Taako, not liking where this line of questioning was going. “I haven’t used it in years, though. Who needs it when you have this face?”

Angus nodded. “Thank you for answering my questions. Kravitz doesn’t like telling me about magic.”

“Why not?”

“He wants me to have a normal life. I only know about the vampire thrall stuff from reading his books. Can I have another muffin?”

“Go wild, kid.”

\--

Taako’s phone rang. 

“Hey, handsome,” said Taako, doing some quick mental math. Yes, it had been almost three weeks. Kravitz would be getting peckish again. “What can I do for you?”

“Just saying hi.”

Taako hung his head back over the arm of the sofa. “Oh yeah? Well, I’m free tonight, if you want to say hi in person.”

“Your place or mine?”

“Mine? You haven’t taken full advantage of my hospitality yet.”

“What time?”

Taako looked at the clock. He had no plans, and would be delighted to get his hands on Kravitz as soon as possible, but he didn’t want to seem desperate. “Seven?”

“I’ll see you then.”

_ Click.  _

Taako threw his phone onto the coffee table and looked around the room. He should probably clean up a little, and make the bed. He didn’t want Kravitz to think he was a total slob.

Kravitz rang the doorbell at 7pm on the dot. They’d been doing this long enough now that Taako could tell when Kravitz was hungry: his face was thinner, his gaze sharper somehow, the bones of his knuckles more defined when his palm ghosted down Taako’s side below the hem of his lacy crop top. “It’s good to see you again,” he said.

“Hella.” Taako didn’t know what to say. It was always easy, once instinct took over, but why did Kravitz have to try to make small talk beforehand? It wasn’t like they were  _ boyfriends  _ or anything. “You’re starving, my guy,” said Taako. “Hurry up and bite me before you start drooling on my nice shirt.”

“Where do you want me?”

“Couch,” said Taako, and led him there, pulling him down and straddling his lap. Kravitz’s mouth was cool against his neck, and his teeth were so sharp he could hardly feel them sinking in. 

As Kravitz fed, Taako ran his hand up Kravitz’s side, enjoying the different textures of linen shirt and jacket and silk tie, and then slipped his hands underneath his shirt to touch some more, eliciting a soft noise of pleasure. 

Later Taako learned that fangs did not preclude someone from offering excellent blowjobs, and they ended up in Taako’s bed, which was narrow enough that Taako had an excuse to curl up in Kravitz’s arms. 

“I wish I could take you out to dinner first,” said Kravitz, still a little breathless. “This feels… ungentlemanly.”

“I appreciate the sentiment.”

“Hey, can I ask you a favor?”

“Anything,” said Taako, too quickly.

“I need to go out of town for a while. I guess you could call it a business trip. I don’t know how long it’ll take, but it’ll be at least a couple of days, and I was wondering if you could house-sit and take care of Angus while I’m gone.”

“I’d be happy to, but you’d better stock up on real food before you leave. I’m not spending a week eating nothing but microwave meals.”

“It’s a deal.”

\--

Taako arrived to find the house full of vampires, at least a dozen of them, dressed in shades of black and gray, leaning against the counters and examining Kravitz’s bookshelves.

Kravitz opened the door. “Taako. Thank you so much for doing this.”

“I didn’t realize you’d be having a house party first.”

“No, we just - we agreed to meet at my place for convenience before we head out. Let me check one last time that you have everything you need,” said Kravitz, and squeezed Taako’s arm before slipping down the hallway.

One of the vampires, a woman who looked - well, rather like Kravitz in the face, though her hair was piled on top of her head and her feathered cloak whispered like bird’s wings. “So you’re Taako,” she said.

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, for a moment channelling Angus. 

“It’s good to finally meet you. If you break Kravitz’s heart, I will kill you,” she said. “Well, I won’t, because I have a reputation to maintain, but at the same time? Don’t test me.” 

She had to be messing with him. Either she had him confused with someone else or she was messing with him. “I-”

“Your  _ majesty, _ ” said Kravitz, pushing between her and Taako. “Shouldn’t you be making sure everyone is ready for departure?”

“Of course, dear.” The vampire woman turned away.

“Sorry about that,” said Kravitz. “I’m sorry there’s not time to introduce you to everyone. Everything you asked for is in the cupboards, Angus is in his room… anything last-minute I can do for you?”

Taako arranged his face into a carefree smile. “A hug?”

Kravitz grinned and pulled Taako into his arms. “Of course. And thank you for doing this, really,” he said into Taako’s shoulder. “I appreciate you.”

Taako pulled away. “You know I expect a full report when you get back, right?”

“Of course.”

“Let’s get out of here,” said the vampire with the crown. “We’re burning moonlight.”

The vampires filed out onto the front porch, shoving good-naturedly, and Taako watched Kravitz’s face, serene, illuminated yellow by the porch light. Then they vanished, one by one, in little puffs of smoke, and there was nothing but the silhouette of bats flapping noiselessly against the stars, and then nothing at all.

Taako went back inside and found Angus standing in the hallway. “They’re gone?” said Angus.

“Yep. You’re not too chummy with your vampire aunts, uncles, and non-gendered relations?”

“I’ve only met a few.”

“That still puts you ahead of me. Wanna order a pizza? Kravitz left me his credit card.” Taako looked into the music room and did a double take. “Wait. That TV wasn’t there the last time I was here, was it?”

“No, Kravitz just bought it a few weeks ago,” said Angus. “And pizza sounds good.”

“What do you like on your pizza?”

“Pepperoni?”

Taako sighed. “Alright. We’ll get half pepperoni, half pineapple.”

“Blech.”

“And that’s where you’re wrong. Not owning a TV has clearly damaged your brain.”

“I haven’t watched it at all. We don’t have cable or anything, Kravitz just bought all the DVDs of your show on Ebay.”

“He  _ what? _ ”

“I probably wasn’t supposed to tell you that.”

“And he watched it?”

“At night when he thinks I won’t notice.”

“Oh, I’m gonna have words with him when he gets back.”

“Please don’t tell him I told you…”

Taako strode into the music room. The only thing under the TV was a DVD player and a small stack of DVD cases. “Alright, you didn’t tell me. I just walked in here and saw it for myself.”

“Are you mad at him?”

“No.” Taako closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, trying to steady himself. He couldn’t have emotions right now. 

When he opened his eyes Angus was studying his face. “Did I do something wrong, sir?”

“No, Ango. You’re perfect.”

\--

The front door slammed open after midnight, and Taako sat bolt upright in Kravitz’s bed. It was almost certainly Kravitz - one would have to be  _ deeply  _ stupid to break into a vampire’s house, even when said vampire was away on business - but Kravitz wasn’t the door-slamming type. 

Taako slid out of bed and into the hallway. Yes, it was Kravitz, silhouetted in the hallway carrying his feathered cloak in one hand and an  _ axe  _ in the other.

“Hello,” said Kravitz wearily, his face still in shadow.

“You definitely did not have that thing when you left the house,” said Taako. 

Kravitz looked down at the axe. “Ah.” He slipped past Taako and into the music room and dropped the axe into a drawer. 

“That’s not gonna stop Angus from finding it,” Taako said.

“It might slow him down a little. I just can’t deal with it tonight.” In the moonlight streaming through the window, Kravitz’s face looked - well, he was exhausted for one, deep dark hollows beneath his eyes. And his cheeks were puffy, almost  _ bloated  _ looking. 

“You’ve eaten,” said Taako. “Should I be jealous?”

“Yes, and no.” Kravitz shrugged. “Do you mind if I… come to bed? Or I can sleep on the couch if you want, I don’t want to disturb you.”

“Please come to bed,” said Taako. “I’ve missed you.”

They went together into Kravitz’s ornate bedroom. Taako slid back into the warm hollow he’d made on the bed and watched Kravitz undress, undoing rows of buttons and unlacing his boots and retrieving flannel sleep pants from the bureau. “Was Angus okay?” he said with his back to Taako as he changed.

“He was great. No trouble at all.”

“I’m glad.” Kravitz pulled back the covers and climbed into bed. “I remember I promised you a full report, if you want it.”

“I admit, I’m curious.” Taako’s hand found Kravitz’s. It wasn’t something he’d do in daylight, but here in the darkness Kravitz seemed so open and so close. “Did you axe anyone?” he said, mostly joking.

Kravitz was silent.

“Oh, boy.”

“The Raven Queen, whom you met, is invested in maintaining the reputation of vampires in general. So whenever she hears about a vampire or group of vampires getting… too out of line, we go and… take care of it. This time it was a blood cult.”

“Holy shit.”

“Killing another vampire counts as a feeding. I feel a little sick, honestly.”

“I’m sorry.”

Kravitz rubbed his thumb over the back of Taako’s hand. “Thanks for not freaking out.”

“Hey, Taako’s chill. I had some stuff I wanted to say to you, too, but it’s not nearly as exciting as a blood cult.”

Kravitz lifted his head off the pillow to see Taako’s face. “Yeah?”

“You bought a TV so you could watch my show?”

Kravitz let his head fall back onto the pillow. “Oh. I meant to hide the DVDs. That’s embarrassing.”

Taako took a deep breath. “I like you, Kravitz.” He knew where they were, curled up together for reasons that had nothing to do with their respective supernatural hungers, but he needed to say it. Needed to hear Kravitz say it. “I like you to a degree that’s at least ten times as embarrassing as enjoying the television masterpiece that is  _ Sizzle It Up with Taako _ .”

“I like you too, Taako.” Kravitz turned to face him, reached out a tentative hand. “Do you - can I kiss you?”

“Please,” said Taako, and Kravitz kissed him, and it was as new and green and delicate a thing as the first tentative crocuses of spring. 

\--

Angus McDonald sat at the kitchen table, his legs swinging, filling in the newspaper crossword puzzle.  _ Reworked parchment,  _ the clue read. Ten letters.

The front door glowed around the edges and swung open. Angus wrote in his rounded, childish hand: PALIMPSEST. The woman in the doorway wore a silver crown and a cloak that gleamed with raven feathers.

“Hello, ma’am,” said Angus. “Kravitz is still getting ready.”

“You must be Angus.”

He was surprised that she knew his name. He only knew who she was because Kravitz had said earlier that afternoon that she would be visiting. “Yes, ma’am, that’s me.”

“Kravitz talks a lot about you. He’s very proud. Aren’t you, dear?” the Raven Queen said, looking over Angus’s head to the hallway where Kravitz had appeared.

“Yes,” said Kravitz. “If Angus is in here we could talk in the music room?”

“Please let me hear what you’re doing,” said Angus.

“No.”

“Please?”

“Angus, I want you to have a normal life. You shouldn’t be worried about this kind of thing.”

“Sir, if you don’t tell me what you’re doing I’ll find out on my own. And I’d rather hear it from you.”

“You may as well tell him,” said the Raven Queen. “You know what a help he could be to us.”

“My Queen, I have obeyed you for centuries without question. Please, let me have this. Let me protect my -” Kravitz paused, looked at his shoes. “This child.”

“I am not ordering you to do anything, Kravitz. I am giving you a little friendly advice. I think you have done your part in protecting him, and now it is time to let him in.”

“Alright,” said Kravitz. 

Angus subtly pumped his fist.

Kravitz sighed and looked into Angus’s face. “All I ever want is for you to be happy and safe, Ango. But I don’t always know the best way to do that. So I will answer your questions, but please know that none of what the Queen and I deal with is your responsibility and you don’t need to be worried about it.”

“Is Taako an incubus?”

Kravitz visibly wilted, and the Raven Queen started laughing.

“He told me he was a demon, but you’ve both been cagey about the specifics, and I’ve been looking at your books -”

“Yes, Taako is an incubus,” said Kravitz. “Look, can we talk about blood cults now?”

\--

The coffee shop was full enough of people working on screenplays or whatever that they had some privacy, and when Kravitz came back with Taako’s drink, his smile seemed private. Like it was meant for Taako alone.

“Pumpkin spice latte with extra cinnamon,” said Kravitz, putting it down on the tiny table and sitting down across from Taako. “It’s good to see you in daylight.”

Taako pulled a silver thermos out of his purse and pushed it across the table. 

“What is this?” said Kravitz, picking it up. He unscrewed the top and in an instant his pupils were blown, his mouth slack. “Oh. Wow.”

“Yeah. Figured as long as you were buying me a drink I might as well bring something for you.”

Kravitz took a tentative sip. “Did it hurt? You didn’t have to do this.”

“Worth it for the look on your face. What did you want to talk about?” 

Kravitz sighed and put the thermos back on the table. “Angus is getting curious about magic and I don’t know what to tell him.”

“He’s your kid, isn’t he? I’d think he has a right to know.”

“He’s  _ not  _ my kid, though. He’s a normal human -”

“- I wouldn’t say normal -”

“- and he deserves a normal life!”

“How did you get ahold of him, anyway?”

“Before his grandfather passed, he asked me to be Angus’s legal guardian. We were friends from birding club, I already knew Angus, and his only other living family are second cousins. I took him to visit for Rosh Hashanah, but he doesn’t  _ know  _ them.”

“Sounds like you  _ are  _ his family, buddy.”

“I don’t want to be disrespectful to his real family by butting in.”

“How about you ask him what kind of family relationship he wants with you? I bet Angus would be honest and tell you.”

“The Raven Queen wants me to tell him everything. He would be useful for recon, a human child wouldn’t attract suspicion from vampires.”

“What about an incubus?”

“What?”

“If Angus gets to know about your secret agent shit, I want in too. Don’t you think I’d make a good spy?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, man. It sounds like you do good work.”

\--

The headlights illuminated mile after mile of empty road. The desert on either side was nothing but blackness. Kravitz’s leather-gloved fingers tapped on the steering wheel. 

Angus, sitting in the backseat, was eating goldfish crackers out of a ziploc bag Kravitz had packed and drinking Capri Sun.

“Save some snacks for the ride home, kemosabe,” said Taako.

“I will.”

This was their introduction to Kravitz’s vampire business: a simple mission, paying a visit to a human who’d been getting a little too curious about vampires. Kravitz had deemed it safe enough for Angus and Taako to come along. 

Kravitz turned off the main highway onto a bumpy gravel road, and then a silvery dome loomed like a flying saucer out of the darkness. 

“Woah,” said Taako. 

There was the slam of a car door and the crunch of shoes on gravel. Angus deliberated for a moment before leaving his snacks in the backseat and hurrying after Kravitz up the front walk. 

The building looked like an airplane hanger, but there was a simple white door on the side with a welcome mat in front of it, and Kravitz knocked. 

The man who opened it wore a lab coat with dried red-brown stains around the wrists. 

“Lucas Miller, I presume?” said Kravitz.

“That’s me.” His voice was nasal and a little nervous. “Wait, don’t tell me. Let me guess.” He pointed at Kravitz. “You’re a vampire. Easy.” Then he turned to Taako. “Incubus?” And then he bent down a little to look at Angus. “Alright, I’m stumped. What are  _ you?” _

“I’m a human.”

Lucas snapped his fingers. “It’s always the easy ones that get me. Well, come in, come in.”

“How could you recognize them?” said Angus as he followed Lucas into the cavernous space. “I thought humans couldn’t tell!”

“There are subtle signs. See, vampires don’t make any idle movements. They sit, well, like the dead, and if you look closely it’s easy to tell they’re not breathing. For an incubus, it’s the way they hold themselves. Difficult to explain, but you know it when you see it.”

“ _ Lucas Miller,”  _ Kravitz interrupted. “Your inquiries into vampiric magic have attracted my employer’s attention, and I’m here to ask you a few questions.”

Lucas sat back in a beat-up black desk chair and pushed off with one foot, sending himself spinning across the tile floor. “Yeah? Knowing stuff is suspicious now?”

The whole building seemed to be a lab. Empty test tubes hung on racks along the walls, and machines of indeterminate purpose blinked idly. There was a cabinet full of little labeled bottles and a chest of tiny drawers full of electrical components, and fume hoods lined the walls. A lone centrifuge spun so fast the tubes of red liquid inside blurred. 

“Why have you been looking into magic?” said Kravitz.

“I’m trying to  _ help  _ you. I’m developing a blood substitute for vampires. I’ve been isolating the components of blood and testing each one to see what the key ingredient is.”

“ _ Testing?” _

Lucas spun his chair until it faced the back of the room. “Lucretia!” he called “We’ve got company!”

The back door of the lab opened. A woman with dark skin and close-cropped white hair stepped through. 

“Kravitz,” she said. “I thought I heard your voice. I wish I’d known that Mr. Miller was causing the Raven Queen concern, I could have saved you the trip out here.”

Lucretia looked like  _ shit.  _ Her face was sallow, every movement she made as pained and deliberate as a poorly-rigged automaton. 

“Lucretia,” said Kravitz. “Why haven’t you been eating!?”

“Because I don’t need it. I haven’t fed in  _ eight months,  _ Kravitz. Lucas has been able to synthesize the molecules I need to survive.”

“Lucretia.”

She reached Lucas’s chair, which he vacated so she could sit down. “This is what  _ needs to be done _ . The Raven Queen wants to give vampires a better reputation. How is that ever going to happen until we eliminate our dependency on fresh human blood? As it is, predation is our only option.”

“And so you made yourself a lab rat for  _ him _ ?” he said, gesturing dismissively to Lucas Miller.

“Are you going to try to stop me?”

“I’m definitely going to tell the Raven Queen that you went behind her back and shared magical knowledge with a human without authorization.”

If Lucretia had been human, she would have been shaking. Weakness and fury were painted on her face. As it was her hands were deathly still on the arms of her chair; her eyelids did not twitch. “If you try to stand in the way of progress, Kravitz, I’ll kill you.”

Taako and Kravitz collided as they both tried to step in front of Angus.

“Hey, woah,” said Lucas Miller. “Nobody’s going to kill anybody.”

“I think we’d better put this conversation on hold until I have time to report back to the Raven Queen,” said Kravitz, gripping Angus’s shoulder protectively, edging the boy behind him. “I wish you’d told someone, Lucretia.”

“It was very nice to meet you, Mr. Miller! And Miss Lucretia!” Angus called as Kravitz pulled him out into the night. Taako followed, waving awkwardly over his shoulder before he closed the door behind him.

The car was already running. Taako slid into the front passenger seat and barely got the door closed before Kravitz peeled out. 

“I’m sorry,” said Kravitz. “That’s not how I expected that to go.”

“Headlights,” murmured Taako.

“Shit.” Kravitz switched the headlights on. “Sorry, Angus, pretend you didn’t hear that.”

“I hear much worse things at school!” said Angus. “Can you teach me how to recognize supernatural creatures? Like Mr. Miller could?”

Kravitz didn’t respond. He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket, handed it to Taako, and spoke with his voice carefully measured. “Can you call the Raven Queen and put her on speakerphone?”

The lock screen was a picture of Angus. “What’s your password?”

“1841.”

Taako punched it in and navigated to the phone app. The vast majority of Kravitz’s recent calls were with him, and his contact name had heart emojis in it. Taako’s stomach flipped stupidly.

The Raven Queen picked up almost instantly.  _ “Hello?” _

“I just got out of the Miller lab,” said Kravitz. “He’s been developing a blood substitute, working with Lucretia.”

_ “Well, that doesn’t seem too bad.”  _

“Lucretia is half-dead and threatened to kill me if I stopped her.”

The Raven Queen paused for a moment.  _ “You’re upset.” _

“I brought Angus and Taako with me. I thought they would be safe.”

“Hi grandma!” piped up Angus, leaning over the console into the front seat.

“ _ Hello, Ango! How was your first mission?” _

“Mr. Miller could tell what Kravitz and Taako were! So there’s a way for humans to learn and I’m going to figure it out!”

_ “I’m sure you will. I assume Taako is also listening in?” _

“Yeah, I’m here,” said Taako. The only other car they’d seen all night whizzed past the window. 

_ “Kravitz, you’re not driving, are you? _ ”

“You’re on speaker and Taako’s holding my phone,” said Kravitz.

“ _ You know that’s not safe, dear!” _

“So you’re not worried about Lucretia going behind your back?”

_ “It doesn’t sound like she was hurting anyone.” _

Kravitz took his eyes off the road long enough to give Taako a pleading look. 

“Not besides herself, maybe,” Taako cut in. “She looked awful. Starving. Apparently she’s only been drinking artificial blood and it’s definitely not enough.”

_ “I’ll check in with her tomorrow. I appreciate knowing, and you all did good work tonight.” _

“I’ll call you back later,” said Kravitz. 

_ “Alright. Talk to you soon, alright?” _

“Bye.”

The Raven Queen hung up, and soon they were back home. 

Kravitz shrugged off his cloak but left his gloves on, paused in the doorway to the music room. “Taako? Would you mind coming here a minute?”

When Taako was inside, Kravitz closed the door and went to the same chest of drawers where he’d dropped the axe before. Then he pulled open the bottom drawer and stood back. It was empty except for something wrapped loosely in a scrap of purple velvet.

“It won’t hurt you,” Kravitz said. “Take it.”

Taako picked the thing up. It was a dagger, gaudy, with emeralds set into the handle and a blade tarnished mostly brown. Kravitz backed away a few more steps. Taako suddenly understood. Silver. “Why do you  _ have  _ this?”

Kravitz shrugged. “Live as long as I do and you pick up a few souvenirs along the way. I want you to have it.”

“Really?”

“It’s not like I can use it. And I want you to be safe, and if you’re going to work for the Raven Queen with me we’re going to run into some hostile vampires.” Kravitz flashed a nervous smile. “I’d rather you didn’t kill  _ me,  _ though, if you can avoid it.”

Taako carefully wrapped the knife back in the velvet and stuck it in his purse. Kravitz had sat down on the couch and was peeling off his gloves. “I want you to be safe,” he repeated, voice weaker now. “You and Angus. I thought today would be okay. I didn’t expect Lucretia to be there, or for her to threaten us.”

“Hey,” said Taako. “We  _ are _ safe.” He dropped his purse on a table on the other side of the room and crossed to sit in Kravitz’s lap, putting his arms around Kravitz’s neck and his head on Kravitz’s shoulder. “Technically, Lucretia was only threatening you anyway. Angus and I weren’t in danger.”

“If anything happened to Angus...”

“Nothing bad’s gonna happen to Angus. The kid’s not an idiot, and he’s got you to protect him. He’s got  _ me  _ to protect him. And if any vampires try to hurt Angus on my watch, I’ve now got a silver knife to absolutely fuck their shit up with.”

“Thank you, Taako,” said Kravitz. “I - I trust you.”

That had not been what Taako was expecting. Trust, the delicate cousin of love. But with Kravitz’s arms around him, he felt it. “I trust you too.”

\--

Taako was back in the bar where he’d met Kravitz. Alone, but that wouldn’t be a permanent condition, not with the way he was dressed. He was here because he’d bought a new palette of eye shadow and to show it off. 

He was halfway through his first drink when the door opened and another incubus walked in. Taako whipped around and made eye contact. The other incubus smelled  _ foul.  _ Sleazy. And he was half-starved, too, whole body drooping like a past-season tulip. 

The other incubus made a beeline for Taako. Good. He knew who was in charge here.

“My name is Jenkins,” he said, extending a limp hand for Taako to shake.

“Taako,” said Taako. “I like your tie. Tell me about it?”

“This is my flair,” said Jenkins. He was wearing a red button-down shirt and an iridescent rainbow bow tie. “Hey, can you recommend me a good place to… eat?”

“No,” said Taako, thinking of Kravitz. “I’m not sharing.”

Jenkins cast his eyes around at the crowd. “They don’t fear you.”

“I don’t feed on humans.”

Jenkins’ smile was thin. “Then they won’t know how to fight a thrall.”

“You’ll have to fight me first.”

The shadows of sweat-slick humans danced reflected in Jenkins’ eyes. “Let’s dance.”

“Parking lot. Go. I’ll meet you once I’ve paid for my drink.”

Jenkins slipped off his barstool and headed for the door. Taako pulled out his phone and texted Kravitz:  _ if you want something fun to do I’m fighting an incubus who was threatening to thrall some townies. outside the bar where we met <3 _

Then he slapped some cash on the counter and left. Jenkins was kicking at the gravel of the parking lot. “You think it’s your job to  _ protect  _ them?” Jenkins hissed when he saw Taako.

“No. But if you cause problems here, it’s gonna make my life a lot harder. Pretty shitty incubus, anyway, if you need to use a thrall.”

“I am  _ not  _ a shitty incubus!”

“Oh yeah? You’re not even hot. And you’re rude. You know we feed off  _ pleasure,  _ right, not annoyance? So it’s not in your best interests to make everyone around you miserable.”

Jenkins advanced whip-fast and grabbed Taako’s arm. His nails dug into Taako’s forearm, and Taako internally rolled his eyes. Didn’t this guy know enough about sex to keep his nails trimmed? 

Then Jenkins’ fist was colliding with Taako’s face. 

Incubi didn’t usually fight like this. Taako, more used to slap-fights with his sister, had honestly thought a few cutting insults would be enough. He jabbed his fingers hard into Jenkins’ lean side and tried to swing his arm back for a punch, but Jenkins had him pinned in a chokehold, elbow across Taako’s throat. 

That foul smell, the smell of burning hair and plastic, was overwhelming. “You wanna know how I’m so well-fed?” gasped Taako.

“How?” said Jenkins.

“I have a hot vampire sugar daddy, and if you kill me, he’s gonna be  _ very  _ annoyed. You know vampires don’t like it when you mess with their blood supply.”

“I don’t believe you,” said Jenkins, but he didn’t have time to say anything more. 

A huge furred body blotted out the stars, and both incubi hit the ground hard. A wolf, a wolf whose thick fur smelled  _ clean,  _ somehow, bit down hard on Jenkin’s neck and dragged him away from Taako across the gravel. 

Taako sat up, rubbing his shoulder where it’d hit the ground. “Good dog,” he said. 

The only indication that the wolf heard him was a flick of its ears. Then its outline flickered like the moon passing behind a cloud and Kravitz was there, knee on Jenkin’s chest. “Believe it,” he panted. “And I don’t like it when someone tries to mess with what’s  _ mine. _ ”

Taako shivered at the tone of Kravitz’s voice, lower and more threatening than he’d ever heard it before. Was this the Kravitz who’d bloodied that axe? He could get  _ used  _ to this.

“How about this,” gasped Jenkins. “You let me go. Neither you nor your little boyfriend will ever see me again. And I’ll put the word out that this town isn’t… tourist-friendly.”

“If I ever catch you in my territory again, I  _ will  _ kill you,” said Kravitz. “Deal.” 

He stood up and watched Jenkins scramble back to his car and skid out of the parking lot. Then he turned to Taako. His broad smile showed his fangs. “Hot vampire sugar daddy, huh?”

“I mean. I wasn’t gonna try to explain our whole thing.” Taako slung his arms around Kravitz’s neck. “Most vampires I’ve met are more into being a sugar daddy than you are.”

Kravitz raised his hand to Taako’s face, who winced when Kravitz’s fingertips brushed his cheek. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah. I’m glad you came to rescue me. You’re hot when you’re trying to be scary.”

Kravitz laughed. “Trying?” He looped his arm around Taako’s lower back and pulled him close.

“Oh, you’re plenty scary. Just not to me. ‘Cause I know you’re  _ my  _ super-powerful vampire.”

Kravitz kissed him then, but when he pulled away his expression was serious. “I’m glad you’re not afraid of me, Taako.”

“I don’t suppose your possessive vampire instincts are telling you to take me home with you and ravish me, are they?” 

“I actually flew here, so if you want to come home with me it’ll be in an Uber. But you’re always welcome.”

“We could walk over to my place, if you want.”

“I’d like that.”

They walked hand-in-hand down the sidewalk towards downtown, through the chasms of deep darkness between the streetlights. Taako had never been afraid to go out at night - his thrall was enough to protect him from anything a human might try - but with Kravitz he felt safe in a different way. Cared for. 

“Do you  _ want  _ me to be more of a sugar daddy?” said Kravitz finally.

“Put it this way: if I’d known you’d offer, I wouldn’t have bothered furnishing my own apartment.” 

“You could move in with me, if you want. I know Angus would be happy to see more of you.”

“Eh, I’ve bought all this furniture now, and I like being able to eat garlic. If you really wanna sugar-daddy me you could buy me a car so you don’t have to drive me everywhere.”

“What kind of car do you want?”

Taako had reached the door of his apartment, and turned around with the key still in the lock to see Kravitz’s face. He was  _ serious.  _ A swell of affection rose in Taako’s chest, and  _ I love you  _ stuck in his throat. Kravitz acted like Taako deserved nice things, like it was natural that he could just ask for shit and receive it.

Kravitz was still smiling. “You want one with a red bow on top like the Lexus commercials?”

Taako turned back and shoved his shoulder against the door to open it. “I thought you didn’t watch television.”

“I do now. Thanks for that, by the way. I spent four hours on the phone with the cable company the other day. ”

Inside, now, up the dim stairs to a second door with a second lock, feeling Kravitz at his shoulder. “The greatest joy of your undeath, I’m sure.”

Taako flicked on the kitchen light and dumped his purse on the counter. Then he flung himself onto the couch, head in Kravitz’s lap. Kravitz took the hint and started stroking his hair. 

“You… like... that I’m a vampire?” said Kravitz softly.

“Uh-huh.” Taako was thinking much more about how nice Kravitz’s nails felt against his scalp than his words.

“I’m glad you do. I, uh. I think it’s hot that you’re an incubus.”

Taako opened his eyes. “Yeah?”

Kravitz spoke so quietly now that his words were no more obtrusive than breathing would have been. “It’s hot to think that you could… make me want you.”

Trying to figure out what went on in Kravitz’s head was like trying to catch a glimpse at the lives people lived inside the houses along the highway as you sped past. But all Taako could do was take his eyes off the road and look.

“I want to know what your thrall feels like,” Kravitz said.

Taako gently removed Kravitz’s hand from his hair and sat up. To use one’s thrall to feed was essentially to commit sexual assault, and so Taako had only used it in self-defense, when he needed to force someone to  _ stop _ . “If I thrall you, you won’t be able to say no.”

“You don’t have to tell me to do anything. I just want to know what it feels like to be under your control. Fifteen seconds. If you don’t want to, though, that’s fine too.”

“If you’re sure, I’ll do it.”

“Yes. Please.” Kravitz licked his lips nervously. 

“Alright. Fifteen seconds, I won’t make you do anything. In three… two…” Taako looked for any sign of regret or fear in Kravitz’s face, but there was none. His eyes were wide and brilliant. “One.” 

Taako cast his thrall. It was like a switchblade, his thrall, too easy to open, and now Kravitz’s eyes were glazed over, his mouth curling up in a smile. “What can I  _ do  _ for you?” he murmured in a voice that was not his own. 

Taako glanced at the clock and said nothing. Why the hell did Kravitz trust him this much? Maybe it was a test. Maybe Kravitz had been worried that Taako had been thralling him before and this would give him a point of comparison. 

Maybe Kravitz was confident that he could fight it: as a vampire he’d be more able to resist than a human, and it occurred to Taako that vampires were prone to hierarchy, and he didn’t know where Kravitz sat. 

His gaze snapped back and he released Kravitz from his thrall. Kravitz coughed a little - was he embarrassed? - and straightened his tie. “Thank you, Taako. For indulging me.”

“No problem, my guy.” Then he took a deep breath and blurted it out. “How old are you?”

“Ah.” Kravitz leaned back into the couch, folded his legs and arms against his chest. “You went so long without asking.”

“It’s generally considered a rude question. And you’ve never asked me how old  _ I  _ am.”

Kravitz looked him up and down. “I think you are in your late twenties or early thirties.”

“Pretty much. Are you embarrassed because you were born in 1970 or something? Are you secretly a boomer?”

“No.” Kravitz looked like he wanted to sigh, but since he didn’t breath all he did was sit there, still as a photograph. “I have been around for a very, very long time. Long enough that my memories of my mortal life are… incomprehensible.”

“What do you mean?”

“I assassinated a king, before I was turned. I told his advisors he had lost favor with the sun god and saw his heart torn out in front of me. I dressed in gold. I wore so much gold, Taako, you don’t understand what it’s like to think you’re a  _ god  _ and then realize you’re not, but you’re still not mortal, you’re something  _ worse. _ ” Kravitz’s eyes were mournful, now.

“Shit,” said Taako. He eased closer, waiting for a nod before he threw his arms around Kravitz’s shoulders and hugged him. And what he wanted to say but didn’t, what he hoped to convey by holding an ancient vampire close on his Goodwill sofa, was  _ I love you. _

**Author's Note:**

> lup is also an incubus and barry is a human but when he's hanging out with magical creatures he claims he's half-minotaur half-mermaid and just got the least interesting halves. hit me up on tumblr @bellafarallones


End file.
